I Bought $200 Worth of Driftwood with MRY’s Money

MRY’s “Get a Life” Program encourages its employees to do stuff outside of work and they pay you to do it. Two hundred dollars to be exact if you submit a receipt by 5:00 pm on the Friday before the new year. About five minutes before the deadline I decided I had to have that money and was going to beat the deadline. But what could I buy? Everyone else bought gym shoes or cooking classes. I had about a million projects I wanted to do but since I leave everything until the last second I didn’t have time to gather the things I needed for a specific project. So I bought driftwood. Lots and lots of driftwood. One hundred ninety eight dollars and seventy nine cents worth of driftwood to be exact.

I had it all delivered to the office since I wouldn’t be around during the holidays. When the large boxes started coming in I hid them under my desk, partially because I didn’t know how to explain it to other people and mostly because I didn’t feel like answering everyone’s stupid questions. Also I had no answers to the stupid questions. If someone asked me why I bought driftwood I probably would have just looked at them and acted super-bitchy so they thought I knew something they didn’t. Like the stock market value on driftwood was about to SKYROCKET.

But here’s the real reason. Driftwood is cool. It’s like something that nature made that was cool and then it fell in the water for some reason and then nature did something else with it. That’s pretty cool. It’s a lot cooler than an app Justin Bieber made or a picture of a Kardashian’s areola. And now I get to do something else with it. Something with my own hands that comes from my hands and my brain. It’s like nature is getting a third shot at making something cool. There’s something pretty special about that.

Also, MRY ain’t gonna pay me back unless I prove that buying 600 pieces of busted up wood that I could have just collected from the beach myself is somehow moving the “Get a Life” Program forward.

So here we are. I’m gonna make something out of that wood once a month or whenever I get around to it. Check back in February. Driftwood Project Extraordinaire #1 is already underway.